Shopping on Black Friday is always a “survival of the fittest” yet hilarious experience. With Thanksgiving’s tofurkey fermenting in my stomach, I wait in line at the meat market of technology – BEST BUY – to buy more new junk to fill my apartment with.
Therefore I present to you:
Yes – Black Friday actually does stink like turkey droppings. Maybe because everyone is so full of tofurkeys, and well, besides mentioning green gas – the rest of the image is too disgusting for me to even portray.
Like all the other little ingenius munchkins in line, I’m thinking we’re actually going to save money by spending more money. Hell, in those wee hours of the morning I could’ve written the first chapter of Harry Potter 8 and slammed it in J.K. Rowling’s attractive face.
It’s interesting how I wouldn’t ever get up that early in the morning to –
a) Write this blog
b) Go to the gym
c) Write a chapter of a book
d) Take my pet rhinoceros for a walk
– but I was stupid enough to get up that early to save a couple of bucks for crappy products I would never use again.
There I am below in the dark green shirt in the back with a big frown on my face. Obviously, anyone would get a frown on their face if they’ve been waiting in line for a better part of the day.
If the alien race were looking through a telescope at the Earth, they would notice this line right away. This line outside Best Buy literally extended for a couple of miles. They would laugh so loud that we would waste our precious time standing in this line, that their eardrums would simultaneously combust at the same time, blasting a hole through their spaceship.
↓ Read the rest of this entry…