This is a life lesson I learned the hard way. Learn from my mistake.

Throughout the years of downloading things, surfing the web, plummaging through ebooks and running various softwares, my computer has collected a bunch of mini viruses.

These little assholes go around infecting my computer every which way.

I always imagine these little assholes as trolls. They just like to troll away – causing further complications. Then they replicate in more little trolls and so on and so on till they completely clog up my computer’s memory.

These little viruses are laughing at me. Laughing like insane maniacs. I want to squish them.

I can’t even search google without getting redirected to some crappy scam website!

It’s about time I stop letting my computer get sick and get an Anti-virus program to destroy all the years of filthy files left on my computer.

I search for a virus scanning program and download it.

I run the virus program, expecting a normal interface. I was taken aback by seeing a button which did not make any sense to me.

“Suck my Fleshy balls” said one of the buttons.

I scratched my head. The curiousity side of my brain was telling me to tap that button away till I get carpal tunnel. The other side was like – forget it.

Something was suspicious.

I decided to head for the ignore button and get the fuck out of this program.

It turned out my suspicions were right. I had downloaded another virus in the disguise of an anti-virus program.

My computer had its last straw. It started to heat up vigorously.

Damn, it now looked like one of old computers, those 486 processors from the 80s, before the good ol’ pentiums.

My computer was wobbling, I didn’t understand what was going on. We’ve been through a lot together, him and I, but this was something I couldn’t figure out.

I think it was dying. It was muttering its last breaths.

I leaned in to my computer, to put an arm around it, to listen to it, to help calm it down. All it maybe needed was a big hug from a dear friend before it succumbed to the afterlife.

But somehow, I don’t remember anything after that moment.