Sometimes, when I was a teen, I would let my anger get the best of me. I always assumed unleashing a barrage of nonsensical cuss words would do the job of calming the anger.
Turns out cussing would just make it worse.
I decided then I would say something different .. something.. unexpected.. something much better than cussing.
So everytime someone pissed me off, I decided one of the things to say was “Oh yeah? Well.. I made love to your grandmama“.
(This went on for a while till my medulla oblongata became wittier – which came as I gained more life experience.)
I’ve compiled a list of when I personally have noticed the best uses of saying such a thing:
Think about the alternative: IF you had cussed him out using the usual barrage of profanity, the chances of the cop arresting you would be as high as the pock-marked moon.
However, IF you uttered this statement instead, what would he arrest you for? Think how stupid his report would sound with the words “I made love to your grandmama” in it. It’s not cussing, nor is it a means of insult. What’s he going to arrest you for? For being a smartass? For being immaturely silly?
You get to get away with giving him a piece of your mind without using profanity, and the chances of you being arrested then would be as high as North Korea’s 2012 rocket launch.
Weird and unexpected to say – but it works to calm you down when you get denied by someone of the opposite sex. It’s much, much, much better to say this than to use the usual horrible words that people usually feel like saying at this point.
If you say this to a teacher – teachers aren’t going to do jack squat – especially with all the harrassment lawsuit threats going on.
One a side note: I find it funny how a student can easily slap a harrassment lawsuit on a teacher, but the teacher cannot do the same WHEN NECESSARY.
There is only ONE incident where I would recommend not making this statement.
I would never recommend you stating this to a monkey, for the consequences can be disastrous:
Instead of VIOLENCE such as this:
You could just politely win the day by saying this:
“Use your words, not your guns.” – Yours Truly.
This situation can also come in handy whenever someone makes fun of your God-given body parts.
For example.. my hulkin’ friend Arnold Schwarzenneger would always tell people “Use your muscles, not your manboobs“.
(Well, that was years before he acquired his own pair of moobs.)
“Muscles > Manboobs.”
If anyone ever says such a thing to you in real life, you now know how to respond to them.
You tell ‘em who their Grandaddy is.